his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
