No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
