Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
