Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
