She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
