He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize