Buhtt sex?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
