adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
