there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
