We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
