have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
