Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
