I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
