You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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