that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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