I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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