you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I need to sanitize my soul.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
