there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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