i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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