dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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