Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
