wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
