One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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