I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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