drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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