forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
