Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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