If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
