Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
