I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
