dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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