if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
