I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hippo gnu deer
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
