He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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