If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Randomize
