My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
