turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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