Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
