we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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