I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Those nachos came to me in a dream
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
