At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
