It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
