This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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