"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
