That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I need water and some morals
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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