The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
