Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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