careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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