I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
ok first of all what the fuck
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