we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
