Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
